2 months or so in the life of Yugi and his yami!
by Blueray-dragon-girl
Summary: Total madness and insanity as we look on the lives of Yugi Muto and his other half Yami. R&R! Slight Yaoi! COMPLETE (unless of course you want more OO;;)
1. Living with Malik

Chapter One - Living with Malik  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Yu-gi-oh though I wish owned Yami  
  
Summary- General structured madness as we look in to the lives of Yugi and his Yami.  
  
Notes - This was my very first fanfic that got posted on ELAD and so here it is complete and slightly revised from the original. Enjoy.  
  
Malik = hikari Marik = yami I know I keep changing it around but it depends on a how I feel.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yugi and Yami were busy getting dressed and Yami was trying on different shirts.  
  
Yami: How about this one?  
  
Yugi:*looks* That one makes you look gay. Just wear what you normally do.  
  
Yami:*scowls* Fine *throws shirt out of window*  
  
A loud banging on the door.  
  
Grandpa:*yells* YUGI GET THE DAMN DOOR I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!  
  
Yugi:*sweatdrop* Hai *opens door to see a tearful Malik standing there, who collapses on to Yugi's shoulder and sobs*  
  
Yami:*comes downstairs* What the hell is going on? *sees Malik crying and sniggers* Oh dry up for Ra's sake.  
  
Yugi:*glares* Yami don't be mean! Can't you see he's upset? *pushes Malik off who sniffs* What's wrong?  
  
Malik:*sniffs* I've been living at Ryou's place I had a fight with Bakura and he threw me out.  
  
Yami:*looks pissed off* So go back and live Isis then.  
  
Malik: Isis threw me out as well *evil grin* I put a centipede in her shoe and it bit her, me and my yami laughed as she hopped round the house screaming.  
  
Yugi: How come only you got kicked out?  
  
Malik:*shrugs* She knew I did it. Isis said that was the last straw especially after I put liquefied worms in her shampoo *evil chuckle* Anyway my yami said he'd like to be alone with Isis even though he's a virgin.  
  
Yami:*laughs*  
  
Yugi:*sweatdrop* Well stay here until you patch things up with Bakura *yells upstairs* GRADNPA MALIK'S STAYING FOR A WHILE!  
  
Yami:*anime fall* Nani?  
  
Grandpa:*yells* NAZE?  
  
Yugi:*yells back* HE FELL OUT WITH BAKURA.  
  
Grandpa:*yells* AGAIN? THAT'S THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH!!! Malik walks in to the house goes to the living room, sits down and puts his feet on the coffee table.  
  
Yami:*glares at Yugi* He's your responsibility I want nothing to do with the little shit.  
  
Malik: I heard that arsehole.  
  
Yugi: Ok Yami *watches Yami storm off*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A week later... Yugi is standing outside the bathroom.  
  
Yugi:*bangs on door* Hurry up Malik stop taking so long.  
  
Malik:*opens door and smiles evilly* There you go Yugi enjoy.  
  
Yugi:*enters bathroom* AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH! *runs back out*  
  
Malik:*laughs*  
  
Yami: Why are you screaming? *looks in bathroom* OH MY GOD! *looks mad* MALIK!!  
  
The bathroom sink is covered in toothpaste, the bath has shit smeared in it and on the mirror were the words shit hole.  
  
Yami:*curses Malik's name in Egyptian* Either he goes or I'll kill him.  
  
Yugi:*nervously* You didn't used to be this violent.  
  
Yami:*glares* How the hell would you know? Were you around 5000yrs ago? No you weren't.  
  
The phone rings Yugi runs off to answer it leaving Yami to clean the bathroom, still cursing loudly puts on an apron and rubber gloves. Drags out a large box of cleaning chemicals from a cupboard.  
  
Yugi:*picks up phone* Hello?  
  
Ryou:*sighs* Oh thank Ra. Yugi I need your help its my yami, ever since Malik left he keeps getting drunk. It's wearing me down.  
  
Yugi:*sweatdrop* I'll be over in an hour.  
  
Ryou: Alright see you soon *hangs up*  
  
Malik:*calls from living room* Who was it?  
  
Yugi: Wrong number.  
  
Malik is making strange noises Yugi looks and sees Malik doing odd hand movements near his groin.  
  
Yugi:*shocked* What are you doing?  
  
Malik: Polishing my rod.  
  
Yugi:*more shocked* In here? That's disgusting!  
  
Malik: Nani? *laughs and holds up a rag and his Millennium Rod* See I'm polishing my rod grow up dickhead. Yugi: It just sounded rude.  
  
Malik:*evil laugh* It was supposed to.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
An hour later Yugi and Yami stood outside Ryou's place, Yugi rings doorbell.  
  
*DING DONG*  
  
Bakura opens the door his eyes are bloodshot and he's holding a bottle of vodka.  
  
Bakura:*slurred voice* Ryou the mother fucker Pharaoh is here and he brought shrimp.  
  
Yami:*goes to punch Bakura* I'll give him mother fucker!  
  
Yugi:*holds Yami* Don't he's drunk he doesn't know what he is saying.  
  
Bakura:*sneers* I know exactly what I'm saying I'm not that pished.  
  
Ryou:*ushers Yugi, Yami and Bakura in to the house* Please go to the kitchen *all sit down at table except Bakura* You've got to help me get Malik and Bakura back together.  
  
Yami: Great I'll go get Malik now.  
  
Ryou: Wait! You can't do it like that it has to be a subtle way otherwise they won't talk.  
  
Yami: Any ideas?  
  
Yugi:*light-bulb* We can all go see the Shaolin monks, they perform self mutilation they'd love it. It's gonna be at the Domino theatre tonight.  
  
Bakura:*starts to sing a song to the tune of "I'm a little teapot"* I'm a tomb robber tall and stout I'm gonna punch Yami out *does a drunken dance before collapsing*  
  
Yugi:*tuts* How does he get so drunk anyway?  
  
Ryou:*sighs* Quite easily one bottle of vodka and he's gone.  
  
Yami: That's cos alcohol wasn't that strong in Ancient Egyptian times, Bakura can't hold his liquor *sniggers*  
  
Ryou: I know I'm fed up of cleaning up after him.  
  
Yugi: Ok I'll go home and book the tickets. Also I'll call Joey, Serenity, Miho, Anzu, Mai, Seto, Mokuba, Isis, Marik, Otogi and Honda.  
  
Yami: Erm Naze?  
  
Yugi:*rolls eyes* It has to be a group thing so they don't feel singled out. Yami stay here and help Ryou sober up Bakura, don't do anything stupid.  
  
Yami: For the love of Ra I'm a Pharaoh I know how to be responsible.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Two hours later Yugi had just convinced Malik to see the show. Malik:*smirks* Sure I'll go sounds like fun.  
  
Phone rings.  
  
Malik:*picks up phone* Fucking whore hotline how can I help?  
  
Ryou: Is Yugi there?  
  
Malik:*passes phone* For you shit brains.  
  
Yugi:*glares at Malik* Hai?  
  
Ryou:*panic* Mayhem central Bakura goaded Yami in to a drinking contest.  
  
Bakura and Yami in the background singing Egyptian songs with slurred voices.  
  
Yugi:*mad* I'll be right over.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
At Ryou's place Yugi is fuming mad as he watches Yami and Bakura still drunkenly singing Egyptian songs.  
  
Yugi:*shouts* I THOUGHT YOU KNEW HOW TO BE RESPONSIBLE!  
  
Yami:*staggers up to Yugi and puts an arm round him* Yugi you know who I am? I'm the king of games, I'm Yu-Gi-Oh *bursts in to laughter* I beat the tomb robber.  
  
Ryou:*sweatdrop* Gomen Yugi it's my fault Bakura called Yami a lot of names, then said he couldn't hold his drink.  
  
Yugi:*smacks head* I hate your yami.  
  
Yami:*kneeling on floor* Yugi I don't feel well I think I'm gonna puke.  
  
Ryou:*panic* Get him upstairs now second door on the left I'm not cleaning up after him.  
  
Yugi grabs his yami and rushes him upstairs just in time.  
  
Ryou:*yells* DID HE MAKE IT?  
  
Yugi:*yells* HAI!  
  
Some time later Yami and Bakura are sobering up after eating raw coffee.  
  
Yugi:*shouts* I HOPE YOU TWO LEARNT YOUR LESSON!!!  
  
Both yamis hold their heads and moan about headaches.  
  
Yugi:*scowls* Serves you right.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Outside the theatre the group gathers.  
  
Serenity: What are we seeing again?  
  
Otogi:*flicks hair* Yugi said it's the Shaolin monks.  
  
Seto: Great violence on stage.  
  
Marik: Heh heh heh.  
  
Malik:*snorts* Why did he have to come? *points at Bakura*  
  
Bakura:*shoots Malik dirty look* I was invited you twat.  
  
Yami:*holds head* Please stop shouting.  
  
Anzu: What's his problem?  
  
Joey and Honda: Hung-over.  
  
Seto:*laughs*  
  
Everyone begins to take seat.  
  
Isis:*screams* There's a tarantula on my chair eeeekkkk!!  
  
All girls scream except Mia and Marik laughs.  
  
Mai:*picks up spider* Ah how kawaii.  
  
Malik and Marik:*anime fall* NANI?  
  
After that little incident the show began.  
  
Miho:*glomps Ryou* Oh this real nasty hold me.  
  
Ryou:*waves arms* Ack help me.  
  
Joey:*prises her off* God Miho you're like a limpet.  
  
Seto, Yami, Bakura, Ryou, Marik, Yugi and Malik all laugh. Honda sniggers and Otogi smiles.  
  
Yami: This takes me back to the days when I had this at my court.  
  
Bakura:*evil chuckle* Heh I did most of it.  
  
Malik:*sighs* Wish I lived in your time you have all the fun.  
  
Bakura:*evil grin* We can practice on Ryou later.  
  
Malik:*smiles* You mean it Bakurykins?  
  
Bakura:*growls* I told you never call me that in public.  
  
Yami: Bakurykins? *laughs loudly*  
  
Bakura:*glares* Shut up Pharaoh or I'll kill you.  
  
Yami:*laughing so hard he has tears* BAKUYKINS!!  
  
Bakura:*yells* SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!  
  
A loud scream comes from the stage as a monk who had been distracted by Yami's laughing had stabbed his hand wrong and was running around pouring blood. Forgetting their fight Bakura, Marik, Seto, and Malik all laugh loudly. Otogi, Yami, Joey, Honda and Ryou look disturbed. While Mai, Yugi, Miho, Anzu, Isis, Serenity and Mokuba hide their faces. And for some odd reason a sword flies through the air, embedding itself in Anzu's skull which, made everyone laugh.  
  
Everyone thanks Yugi for a great night out, Bakura and Malik were talking again. Ryou didn't want to go home cos of what he heard earlier, holds on to a lamp post for dear life while his would be tormentors try to drag him home.  
  
Yami:*smirks* Mission accomplished and no more Malik the bastard in our house.  
  
Malik:*shouts while dragging Ryou* I HEARD THAT YOU FUCK!  
  
Yugi:*sweatdrop* I feel sorry for Ryou.  
  
Marik: Well I don't I'm gonna join in  
  
They all go home.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well chapter one has now been revised not much I just added in words where I forgotten to put them in first time round, or I changed some of the names I had in it to English ones. Like I said this is my 1st fic that crawled out of my twisted mind, enjoy r&r do whatever bye.  
  
Ruth (Blueraydragon) 


	2. Serenity's dinner party or YuGiOh! food ...

Chapter Two - Serenity's dinner party or Yu-Gi-Oh! Food fight  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Yu-gi-oh but I do own a Yu-gi-oh t-shirt, no honestly I do!  
  
Joey is in the living room playing Tekken 4 and losing even though its set to easy.  
  
Serenity: Joey can we invite the gang over for dinner I wanna cook.  
  
Joey:*growls at T.V* I don't think so.  
  
Serenity: Please big brother its really important to me.  
  
Joey:*looks at her and sighs* Fine! When?  
  
Serenity:*smiles* Tonight!  
  
Joey:*anime fall* Nani? *looks at her pleading face* Oh all right I'll call everyone.  
  
Serenity: Yay!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Joey:*picks up phone and calls Yugi* Hey Yug wanna come over for dinner bring Yami too.  
  
Yugi: Sure we'll be there.  
  
Joey:*phones Isis*  
  
Isis: Hai?  
  
Joey: You wanna come over for dinner.  
  
Isis: Ok arigato *Joey hears crashing and something running around in the background* OH MY GOD WHO LET THAT IN HERE? *smashing sound* NO MY CHINA! Err gotta go bye *hangs up*  
  
Joey:*sweatdrop* *calls Ryou*  
  
Ryou: Hello.  
  
Joey: I'm inviting you over for dinner oh and your yami.  
  
Bakura:*in background* Free food I'm there. Her cooking better be good cos when Anzu cooked I got food poisoning and had the shits for a week.  
  
Joey: Alright see ya later *hangs up and calls Anzu* Hey Anzu come round for dinner.  
  
Anzu: Yay I love your sister's cooking.  
  
Joey: Ok *calls Seto*  
  
Mokuba: Kaiba main line hi.  
  
Joey: Can I speak to Kaiba?  
  
Mokuba: Hang on *picks up phone which, connects to Seto's office* Seto:*grumpy voice* What is it?  
  
Mokuba: Joey Wheeler is on the phone for you.  
  
Seto: Tell him I don't speak dog and I didn't know dogs could use a phone *slams down phone*  
  
Mokuba:*sweatdrop* Seto's busy can I take a message?  
  
Joey: Yeah you two are invited to a chow down.  
  
Mokuba: Cool!  
  
Joey:*calls Malik*  
  
Malik's voice: Hi you reached Malik and Marik's place. Leave a message after the beep and fuck off.  
  
Marik's voice: What do you mean leave a message after the beep and fuck off? Its not like we're gonna call 'em back.  
  
Malik's voice: Oh for the love of Ra.  
  
*BEEP*  
  
Joey: Nice message you guys *phone is picked up*  
  
Malik:*out of breath and laughing* Hi Joey gomen I didn't pick up quicker, but Marik just let a rabid racoon loose in Isis' house you should her face. What's up?  
  
Joey: Serenity's doing dinner you two can come.  
  
Marik:*in background* Is your sister a good cook? Cos when Anzu cooked Bakura got food poisoning.  
  
Malik:*sniggers* Yeah and he never wants to eat raw steak again. We're only there for the food not cos we like you or anything *hangs up*  
  
Joey:*scowls* Little bastard *calls Honda* Hey buddy Serenity wants you over for dinner.  
  
Honda: Are we having a romantic meal for two?  
  
Joey: NO! Everyone will be there just make sure you are too.  
  
Honda:*hurt voice* Ok you don't need to bite my head off geez Joey *hangs up*  
  
Joey:*calls Miho*  
  
Miho: The very much admired Miho here.  
  
Joey:*sweatdrop* Come round for dinner.  
  
Miho: Only of I can sit next to Ryou or Yami.  
  
Joey: Yeah whatever Miho *hangs up and calls Otogi*  
  
Otogi:*heavy breathing* Make it quick I'm busy!  
  
Joey:*invites him to dinner* Otogi:*ecstatic voice* Oh yeah I'm coming I'm coming! OH GOD YOU'RE GOOD!!!!!!  
  
Joey:*hangs up and looks disturbed* I don't want to know!!! *calls Mai*  
  
Mai: Hello talk if you're sexy.  
  
Joey:*sniggers* Hi Mai.  
  
Mai: Oh its you *secretly thinking oh yes baby*  
  
Joey:*explains dinner thing*  
  
Mai: Sure I'll come chow *hangs up*  
  
Joey:*shouts* HEY SIS EVERYONE'S GONNA BE HERE!  
  
Serenity: That's great and don't worry everything will be fine.  
  
Joey:*sighs* If you say so Serenity.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The table was set and laid with food. Roast chicken, mashed potatoes, carrots, peas, baked beans, sausages, bacon, fried eggs and various other things I can't be bothered to mention.  
  
Anzu:*whistles* Wow you've really gone all out.  
  
Everyone sits down and starts piling food on their plates.  
  
Anzu: Lets say grace.  
  
All: NO WAY!  
  
Mokuba:*whines* I'm hungry Seto stop her.  
  
Seto:*growls* Let us eat bitch!  
  
Anzu:*yells* WE ARE SAYING GRACE!  
  
All: Ok.  
  
Bakura:*clueless face* Which god are saying grace to?  
  
Anzu: The one and only god.  
  
Malik:*smirks* I don't know this god I'm Egyptian I know of Ra and our other gods.  
  
Yami, Isis, Marik and Bakura: SAME!  
  
Anzu:*scowls* Fine we'll say grace to Ra. Oh thank Ra for this food.  
  
Mai: Short but sweet lets eat.  
  
Anzu:*stunned* I'm not finished yet!!!  
  
Otogi:*mouth full of chicken* No one gives a shit. Miho:*giggles* Otogi has a point we came to eat not start a church *glomps Yami* Isn't that right Yami?  
  
Yami:*annoyed* All I know is that you are now preventing me from eating *elbows her off* See that's better *shovels food in to mouth*  
  
Seto:*sweatdrop* Yugi your yami eats like a pig.  
  
Marik:*laughs*  
  
Honda:*in between mouthfuls* Serenity this is great.  
  
Otogi: Yeah real tasty.  
  
When the main course had been finished Serenity got out frozen sherbet, ice-cream and a very large chocolate cake. (note - Mmmm chocolate cake) Everyone grabs the cake.  
  
Malik:*sniggers to himself as he plans something* This cake tastes like dog crap.  
  
Marik:*evil grin* I agree with my hikari.  
  
Bakura:*catching on nods*  
  
Serenity:*starts to cry and runs out of room*  
  
Joey:*mad* You bastards *grabs mashed potato to throw at Malik but it hits Seto in the face*  
  
Seto:*yells* MUTT FUCKING DOG I'LL TEACH YOU *grabs a bowl of ice- cream it misses Joey and lands in Yugi's hair*  
  
Bakura:*laughs harder*  
  
Yami:*pissed off* That does it no one laughs at my hikari *leaps on to table grabs cake and shoves it in to Bakura's open mouth* Eat cake tomb robber!  
  
Bakura:*chokes* I'm gonna kill you for that Pharaoh!  
  
Full-fledged food fight breaks out as Yami and Bakura kick, bite and punch each other.  
  
Miho:*tries to hide behind a tea tray to no avail, gets hit with a load of baked beans* Eeeewwww it feels slimy.  
  
Ryou:*yelling while holding his eye* Aaarrrggghhh someone flicked a pea at me!  
  
Mokuba:*hiding under the table cos he flicked the pea and hit Ryou by accident* Gomen I didn't mean it Seto HELP!  
  
Seto:*chasing Joey round the room with handful of cake, catches up with him and squashes it on his head* Ha teach you to throw food at me ha ha ha ha.  
  
Mai:*screams* I got ice-cream on my clothes this will never come out!  
  
Otogi:*gets a pineapple in the face* (note - where the hell did that come from?) *he runs to Joey's fridge sees cottage cheese and flings it which, ends up in Yami's hair* Oops!  
  
Honda has a banana jammed up his nose and Anzu dies cos there's an apple in her throat. (note - I still don't know where the fruit is coming from)  
  
Malik, Marik and Bakura managed to get covered in gravy (note - Huh?)  
  
Yami:*moans* Gah! Do you know how long its gonna take to get cottage cheese out of my hair?  
  
(note - No I don't does anyone know? You also have to add Yami's hair gel as a factor))  
  
Bakura:*going to punch Yami* I couldn't give a shit.  
  
Yami:*points behind his opponent* Look! A munchkin!  
  
Malik and Bakura:*scream* AAGGHH! WHERE?!  
  
Yami:*kicks Bakura off picks up a custard pie and smacks it in to Bakura's face and laughs* Its called looking in the mirror you bastard!  
  
(note - I give up I can't find where this stuff comes from)  
  
Soon everyone is covered in food and decided to go home to clean up. As they went out the door Marik is following Malik trying to lick the gravy off him.  
  
Malik:*hits his yami on the head* Stop it you're making yourself look weirder than you already are!  
  
Yugi:*laughs* Bye Joey lets do this again sometime.  
  
Yami:*nods* Please.  
  
Joey:*shuts door after them* Serenity we are never doing this again *curses as he begins to clear up mess*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Note - After Malik and Bakura made up in chapter one Ryou in a fit of uncharacteristic rage threw Malik out of his house, guess he got fed up of being picked on. At the same time Isis threw Marik out of her house so they got a house next door to Isis so they could still torment her! Poor Isis! 


	3. YuGiOh! BBQ

Chapter Three - Yu-Gi-Oh! BBQ  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Yu-gi-oh though I do own a copy of "Music to Duel By" I don't care if you're laughing the music rocks *blows raspberry*  
  
Yami: Its true Ruth plays it every day *yells* TURN THAT CD OFF OR I MOVE OUT!  
  
Me: Don't go *glomps Yami's leg* I promise to good.  
  
Yami:*sighs* Ok I can't stay mad at you I'll stay.  
  
Me:*looks innocent* Yay! Anyway time to write.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It's a hot summers day (note - when I first wrote this chapter I moaned about how British weather sucked, we now have really good sunny days) Yugi and Yami were inside playing Duel Monsters. They were both equal in and skill so the matches ended a draw.  
  
Yugi:*looks out window and sighs*  
  
Yami: What's wrong Yugi?  
  
Yugi:*sadly* I just wish we had something to do.  
  
Yami:*smiles* I've been thinking that since our 30th duel.  
  
Yugi:*switches on T.V* Whatever.  
  
Documentary of Ancient Egypt.  
  
Yami:*groans* Turn it off its making me feel old.  
  
Yugi:*giggles* You are old.  
  
Yami:*laughs* But I don't look a day over 16yrs.  
  
(note - I don't look a day over 16yrs either but you don't see me boasting about it. Its real annoying especially when I'm when.. Hey I'm not gonna tell you geez)  
  
Just then Yugi's Grandpa stumbled in carrying a large box.  
  
Grandpa:*muffled voice* Hey you two help me out here.  
  
Yugi and Yami help the old man carry the box out in to the garden.  
  
Yugi:*puzzled* Grandpa what is this?  
  
Yami:*reading box* A self-assembling BBQ made and produced by Kaiba Corporation. Hmm sounds like fun.  
  
Grandpa:*smiles* I thought since it was sunny we could invite your friends round.  
  
Yugi:*jumps* Alright yay.  
  
Yami:*holds his hikari so he can't jump* How many times have I told you to lay off the sugar? Besides don't you remember the food fight at Joey's?  
  
Yugi:*smiles* Don't be such a pessimist Yami that won't happen here.  
  
Yami:*rolls eyes* Fine! Lets watch this thing set itself up *5mins later* Wow Kaiba really knows how to work this technology thing, I still haven't figured out how to turn the computer on.  
  
Yugi:*laughs* Maybe I'll teach you one day *walks off saying* I'm gonna call the gang.  
  
(note - There's no way I'm doing another page of telephone calls. All you need to know is Yugi called everyone and got yelled at, cos the phone bill was long enough with out him making it worse. Teenagers talk give him a break)  
  
Grandpa:*smiling* Welcome, hello I'm just about to start cooking the burgers *greets Seto* Ah Kaiba-san amazing BBQ pity you didn't make it self lighting as well.  
  
Seto:*raises eyebrow* Why because your too old or has Yugi tried to blow himself up?  
  
Malik:*caught last bit of sentence as he comes in to garden and cracks up laughing* Heh that would make day worth-while, either that or setting Anzu on fire.  
  
Yami:*growls* Come here and say that you bastard.  
  
(note - He's not protecting Anzu its what Seto and Malik said about Yugi obviously duh)  
  
Bakura:*stands in front of Malik* Go through me first.  
  
Yami:*balled fists runs at him* With utmost pleasure!  
  
Ryou:*protects his yami* STOP! Why do you always fight? You act like you don't like each other.  
  
Yami, Seto, Marik, Malik and Bakura:*shout* WE DON'T! *all stomp off grumpily*  
  
Serenity: Hey Yugi I brought some lemonade for the BBQ.  
  
Joey:*next to her confused* Err sis I didn't know BBQ's could drink.  
  
Serenity:*giggles* Joey its for the people stop being silly.  
  
Isis:*takes a cup and drinks* Gah it's a little sweet ugh.  
  
Serenity: I must of put too much sugar in.  
  
Yugi:*after drinking lemonade runs round garden like a loony and tries to give everyone wedgies*  
  
Otogi:*yells* YUGI YOU LITTLE SQUIRT CALM DOWN FOR FUCK'S SAKE *rubs butt*  
  
Seto:*laughs*  
  
Yami:*grabs Yugi and ties him to a chair* When you're normal *thinks before continuing* As normal as you can be I'll let you go.  
  
Malik:*sidles up to table where Serenity had put the drinks and a bucket of ice-cubes, he knocks the bucket over and starts jumping on them* DIE! DIE! DEATH TO ALL ICE-CUBES!! Muhahahahahahahahahaha ha ha ha.  
  
All:*sweatdrop*  
  
Miho: That guy is a total head-case.  
  
Mai:*puzzled* What did those ice-cubes do to him?  
  
Marik:*evil grin* Consider this anything he doesn't like Malik destroys, and it just so happens that he hates ice-cubes.  
  
Malik:*still crushing ice* Huh? *looks up to see everyone staring at him* I.... err must've flipped out.  
  
Honda: Flipped out is an understatement dude.  
  
Otogi:*laughs*  
  
Grandpa:*calls* Ok kids the burgers are ready come get 'em.  
  
Yugi:*breaks free from chair* YAY! Me first, me first, me first.  
  
Seto:*grabs Yugi by his clothes* I don't think so hedgehog its my invention so I get the first burger.  
  
Yami:*hits Seto with a chair* Its our garden arsehole geez just cos you own the city, doesn't mean you own our garden.  
  
Joey:*sniggers* Now who looks like a dog?  
  
Seto:*glares at Joey*  
  
Joey: ARF!  
  
Anzu:*drops burger in terror* Agh I can't eat it its alive look its moving agh!  
  
Isis:*laughs* Oh Anzu its only food here eat this *holds out burger to Anzu*  
  
Anzu:*backs away slips on an ice-cube falls over on to the BBQ and gets set on fire* AAAGGGHHH!!!  
  
Malik:*evil laugh* Oh look my wish came true.  
  
All:*watch Anzu running covered in flames*  
  
Marik:*evil chuckle* Anzu looks kinda pretty when she's on fire.  
  
Bakura:*evil grin* You mean pretty good entertainment. I wonder how long she keep going before she burns out.  
  
Ryou:*concerned* Shouldn't we help Anzu?  
  
Marik, Seto, Malik, Bakura and Yami: NO!  
  
Anzu:*continues to run and scream until eventually she explodes in to a mushroom cloud leaving behind a pile of ash*  
  
Seto: You don't think that means she was nuclear do you?  
  
Honda:*amused look* Nah it just meant she went out with a bang.  
  
The rest of the day went by normally, if you count Seto calling Joey a dog normal. And Yami chasing Yugi to see if he can prevent his young counter-part, from doing anything stupid while on a sugar high! Otherwise it was normal.  
  
The burgers were ate, the BBQ died and everyone went home.  
  
Yami:*waving goodbye* Well that went ok didn't it?  
  
Yugi:*still running round garden* Yeah! WWWHHHEEE!  
  
Yami:*sweatdrop* I think we should leave Yugi outside tonight.  
  
Grandpa:*nods* Hai if he were inside he'd break stuff.  
  
Yami and Grandpa run in to the house and lock the door, but Yugi didn't care he was hyper-active!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Me: Ok, ok I know short chapter but you can't sue me.  
  
*Knocking on door*  
  
Yami:*opens door* Ruth its for you.  
  
Me: Konnichiwa who are you?  
  
Person: I'm the lawyer come to sue you for a short chapter.  
  
Me:*laughs* You can't cos this dialogue just made it longer ha.  
  
Yami:*smiles* She has a point bye *slams door*  
  
Me:*hugs Yami* What would I do without you?  
  
Yami: You want a list?  
  
Me: No there's no need for that.  
  
Yami:*laughs* I'll be in the kitchen if you want me.  
  
Me:*calls after him* In what way did you mean that?  
  
Yami:*laughs* You have a filthy mind Ruth get out of the gutter!  
  
Me:*sighs* And you people know that if you've been reading my later fics. 


	4. Yami on the internet

Chapter Four - Yami on the internet!  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Yu-gi-oh, I got my own duelling deck, I also play Yu-Gi-Oh! Stairway To The Destined Duel World Wide Edition on the GBAsp.  
  
Yami: How many times have you beaten me on that?  
  
Me:*looking proud* 7 times in all.  
  
Yami: How many times did you lose?  
  
Me:*looks sheepish* Erm 16 times.  
  
Yami:*laughs* Just goes to show how crap your GBA deck is!  
  
Me:*throws cushion at him* My deck is better than yours it has 3 BEWD's and a REBD. I've beaten you more times than you trashed Seto Kaiba.  
  
Yami:*grumpy* You still lost to Kaiba at least 18 times so there.  
  
Seto:*shouts* DON'T BRING ME IN TO THIS!  
  
Me:*yells* SHUT UP SETO *throws a brick at him and knocks him out* I really don't like guy he's such a jerk!  
  
Yami: Good shot!  
  
(note - since this fic is the slightly re-done one, my first ever fic. My baka game decided to delete my file and I lost all my cards and battle data, I had just beaten Yami Malik and I had over 2000 cards! Stupid game!)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yugi had taught Yami how to turn on the computer and showed him the internet, Yugi went off to school expecting to have a couple of hours on the net later. When he did get home Yugi found Yami still on the internet, you could tell he was gonna be mad.  
  
Yugi:*yells* YAMI YOU'VE BEEN ON THERE ALL DAY!  
  
Yami:*shrugs* So?  
  
Yugi:*whines* I want to go on it.  
  
Yami: NO!  
  
Yugi:*whines* Are you listening to me? I want the internet!  
  
Yami:*giggles* Nope I kinda blocked you out.  
  
Yugi:*jumps on to Yami and tries to fight him off the chair*  
  
Yami:*growls* Yugi you midget what the fuck are you doing? Fuck off!  
  
*Monitor screen: Sexy long legs - Would you like me to lick whipped cream off your body?*  
  
Yugi:*stops fighting and looks at screen* Y. Y. Yami you're on a chat- line?  
  
Yami:*blushes and tries to hide screen* Its nothing really stop looking Yugi I mean it!  
  
Yugi:*stunned* How can you impress a girl? You're an Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh, who spent 5000yrs locked in a puzzle, and shares the body of a 16yr old boy. Man when you think about it you sound totally nuts! Well reply already.  
  
Yami:*turns red* Fine but don't laugh *writes: Egyptian Hottie - Oooh tasty then I'm gonna cover you in strawberry sauce and have my desserts*  
  
Yugi:*stifles a laugh* I'm going now before I'm sick.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile at the Kaiba mansion...  
  
Seto:*looking at monitor* Oh hell this Egyptian Hottie is hot! *writes: Sexy long legs - Please carry on I'm so turned on. Afterwards I'm gonna feed you chocolate covered strawberries, and touch your pleasure zones to make you scream!*  
  
Mokuba:*enters room* Hey Seto you still on that chat-line? I've got homework to do.  
  
Seto:*annoyed* Piss off Mokuba I'm busy alright?  
  
Mokuba:*curious* What are you writing anyway?  
  
Seto:*stands in front of screen* None of your damn business!  
  
Mokuba:*jumps on Seto and tickles him til he collapses from laughing* Eeeewwww big brother you are sick and dirty minded!  
  
Seto:*blushes* Yeah whatever now if you don't mind I have a conversation to finish.  
  
(note - Egyptian Hottie is Yami and Sexy long legs is Seto in case you didn't know)  
  
*Egyptian Hottie - Oh for the love of Ra you sure know how to please a man!*  
  
Seto:*sweatdrop*  
  
Mokuba:*laughs*  
  
*Sexy long legs - You mean you're not a girl?*  
  
*Egyptian Hottie - NO! Aren't you?*  
  
*Sexy long legs - Nope I'm a guy too*  
  
*Egyptian Hottie - Ah who cares?*  
  
*Sexy long legs - Agreed! Now where were we?*  
  
Mokuba:*disgusted* Seto I.. I didn't know you were bent!  
  
Seto:*snarls* Shows what you know Mokuba now fuck off to bed. Tell anyone and you're dead!  
  
Mokuba:*worried* Seto its up to you if you are bent, as long as you're happy *runs out of room to call Yugi*  
  
Seto:*smiles* Good boy!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Me: Well this chapter is even shorter than the last one.  
  
Yami:*upset* Why did you that to me? You are so mean!  
  
Me:*rolls eyes* Cos its funny I wanna make people laugh.  
  
Seto:*shouts* WELL IT WASN'T FUNNY BITCH!  
  
Me:*throws another brick at him knocks him out* I didn't ask for your opinion jackass.  
  
Yami:*still upset* I agree with Kaiba it weren't funny.  
  
Me:*smiles* Well I will see what the reviewers say. Gomen I promise in the next fan fic this won't happen.  
  
Yami:*brightens up* You mean it Ruth?  
  
Me: Of course when have I ever broken a promise?  
  
Yami:*thinks* I don't know!  
  
Me: Exactly *glomps Yami*  
  
Yami:*waves goodbye* 


	5. YuGiOh! Pool party

Chapter Five - Yu-Gi-Oh! Pool party  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Yu-gi-oh  
  
Yami: She don't own me either but I keep showing up.  
  
Me: That's cos you're my fave.  
  
Malik:*frowning* Hey what about me? You said I had a nice arse!  
  
Me:*sweatdrop* Heh well you're second best followed by Bakura then Ryou.  
  
Yami:*sticks out tongue at others* Anyway changing the subject, why are you re-doing this series?  
  
Me: Well I'm re-doing it for this site cos there are people out there who have not read it yet, due to the fact its on another site.  
  
Bakura:*sniggers* Does that mean you're actually funny for once in your life?  
  
Me:*scowls* Keep your insults to yourself or you get no candy.  
  
Bakura:*humble* I'll behave can I have my candy now Ruth?  
  
Me: Yeah sure *passes him candy*  
  
Yami:*enters room didn't know he left* Well what do you think? *he's wearing a pair of tight-fitting dark blue trunks*  
  
Me:*drools* Oh I am so gonna love this chapter.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It's a sweltering hot day Yugi and Yami outside in the garden wearing shorts and t-shirts, sweating like pigs trying to cool down. Well Yugi more than Yami.  
  
Yugi:*panting* Man its so hot I can barely move.  
  
Yami:*non-pulsed* The heat don't bother me too much remember I'm from Egypt!  
  
Yugi:*looks at sky* I know, I know I can't forget so quit reminding me!  
  
Yami: Got any plans?  
  
Yugi:*naughty grin* (note - Oh no) I was thinking we could have a pool party, and use Kaiba's pool with out telling him heh heh.  
  
Yami:*anime fall* NANI? You can't be serious? If Kaiba catches all of us he'd skin us alive!  
  
Yugi:*smiles* Aw but you could butter him up if he does.  
  
Yami:*blushes* I. I don't know what you're talking about *crosses arms and looks haughty*  
  
Yugi:*laughs* Oh come off it! Mokuba called me and said Kaiba was on a chat-line talking to Egyptian Hottie who was you!  
  
Yami:*colour of beetroot* Gggrrr go call those friends of yours before I kill you.  
  
Yugi:*runs in to house and begins to make phone calls*  
  
Grandpa:*yells* ARE YOU ON THAT PHONE AGAIN?!  
  
Yugi:*sweatdrop* Hai! Promise I won't be long.  
  
Grandpa:*yells* FOR YOUR SAKE YOU BETTER NOT BE LONG!  
  
(note - Phone-calls, phone-calls bloody phone-calls. I'm not doing them I flatly refuse no matter how funny I wanna make the conversations, every time I get a few ideas I lose some brain cells heh)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Everyone was waiting outside the back gate of Kaiba's mansion all dressed in various swimming gear.  
  
(note - Ok here's the stuff their wearing:- Otogi = tight-fitting red trunks, Ryou and Bakura = green trunks, Yami = mentioned earlier, Yugi = blue trunks, Honda = tight-fitting brown trunks, Malik and Marik = tight-fitting black trunks, Joey = tight-fitting purple trunks, and Mokuba = yellow trunks. All you girls can drool now oi not so close to Yami! While the girls wore:- Mai = red bikini, Serenity = pink swimsuit, Anzu = yellow swimsuit, Miho = lilac bikini, Isis = white bikini. Phew that's all of 'em)  
  
Otogi:*frowns* How are we getting in?  
  
Yugi:*smiles* Leave that to me *dramatic voice* Anzu lend me your cell- phone.  
  
Anzu: Alright no need to be so dramatic Yugi *mutters* Drama queen.  
  
Yugi:*dials number on cell-phone* Hey Mokuba let us in now.  
  
Mokuba: Be there in 5 guys *time passes they hear the gate being un- bolted then opened* Come on in Seto's in his office so he's busy.  
  
Miho:*coos* Wow this pool is huge it can fit us in 2 times over.  
  
Mokuba:*proud* We are rich after all.  
  
Honda:*sweatdrop* You don't need to rub it in.  
  
Mai: Me and Anzu are gonna catch some rays.  
  
All: Ok.  
  
Ryou was first in the pool followed by Bakura and Malik, who before diving in shared an evil grin (note - What are they up to?) Everyone else got in and started playing with a beach ball that Yugi brought along.  
  
Bakura:*evil chuckle* So we agree first Ryou then your sister Isis.  
  
Malik:*evil grin* Lets get going already! (note - I don't like the sound of that)  
  
The terrible two dived under the water and made a bee-line for Ryou, Malik grabbed him and held him fast while Bakura pulled off Ryou's trunks.  
  
Ryou:*blushes as he covers dangly bits with his hands* Bring back my trunks!  
  
Bakura:*laughs as he flings them out on the side* Hell no you lost 'em you go get 'em!  
  
Malik and Bakura high five. Poor Ryou had to suffer the Indignity of leaving the pool naked which, made all the girls wolf whistle at his cute butt. Ryou red faced retrieved his trunks and hid behind a large bush and wouldn't come back out (note - Heh heh don't blame him ha ha heh)  
  
Malik:*laughs* Now for Isis!  
  
Again they dived and headed for Isis, Malik held her while Bakura took off her bikini top.  
  
Isis:*screams* Aaaggghhh YOU TWO ARE GOING TO PAY! *covers her chest*  
  
All guys wolf-whistle while Isis suffers the same humiliation as Ryou, she also hides behind a bush.  
  
(note - I couldn't watch that bit)  
  
Mai:*huffs* Egh You two are complete perverts!  
  
Bakura and Malik:*smirk* Arigato.  
  
Mai:*yells* THAT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT YOU ARSEHOLES!  
  
A tall figure storms in to the garden after being disturbed by all the noise. Hush falls as Seto with a face like thunder glares at everyone. (note - very scary not)  
  
Seto:*bellows* WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE MOKUBA?!  
  
(note - Ow my poor eardrums)  
  
Mokuba:*sweatdrop* Heh a pool party heh *nervous laugh*  
  
(note - I'm gonna put some ear-plugs in you'll see why in a minute)  
  
Seto:*bellows* THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL YOU'RE HAVING A POOL PARTY!!!  
  
Miho:*sniffing* Kaiba's yelling is upsetting me.  
  
Joey:*rolls eyes* Fanbloodytastic its bad enough with Kaiba yelling with out Miho adding her super-sonic sound waves to the racket.  
  
Seto:*calm* Unless I can join in!  
  
All:*anime fall* Of course!  
  
Seto:*whips off his clothes to reveal a pair of bright pink trunks with a yellow duck on the left side*  
  
Marik:*laughs* Ha when did you last wear those kindergarten?  
  
Seto:*mumbles* There the only ones I got.  
  
Otogi:*sniggers* So much for being rich you can't afford a decent a pair of trunks.  
  
All:*laugh*  
  
Seto:*glares* If you want to leave early keep laughing it up *points at Joey* And get that fucking dog outta my pool! Serenity:*giggles* But Seto look at what he can do *throws beach ball at Joey who balances on his nose* See aint he clever?  
  
Seto:*grumbles* Oh great you taught the dog to act like a fucking seal. Good for you.  
  
Everyone goes about having fun I the water. Malik, Bakura and Marik sit on the pool's edge dangling their feet in the water, they didn't notice Isis and Ryou sneaking up behind them holding towels twisted in to whips. (note - heh revenge is sweet) The pair whipped the bare backs of all three!  
  
Isis and Ryou: REVENGE!!  
  
Honda:*screws up face* That's gonna smart in the morning.  
  
Marik:*jumps* Ow why'd you whip me?  
  
Isis:*chuckles* Cos you're as bad as those two and you know it.  
  
Marik:*growls and tackles Isis wrenching the whip towel from her then chases her trying to whip her* Fucking bitch stay still and taste ya medicine!  
  
(note - looks like revenge isn't so sweet for Isis after all, it went sour instead. Aw poor Isis. Drum-roll please its time for the regular feature of Anzu's death yay!)  
  
Bakura and Malik were now very pissed off they spied Anzu laughing at them, with an evil glint in their eyes they picked up Anzu and began to swing her over the pool!  
  
Anzu:*screaming* Agh you guys I can't bloody swim!  
  
Bakura and Malik:*evil grin* On the count of 3. 1 2 3 *threw Anzu in to the water*  
  
Anzu:*desperately splashing around* HELP! *glug* I can't *glug* swim *flounders about til she tires and drowns sinking to the bottom like a rock*  
  
Seto, Malik, Bakura and Marik:*laugh*  
  
Yugi: Err Yami I don't know how to tell you this.  
  
Yami:*raises eyebrow* What is it? Spit it out!  
  
Yugi:*embarrassed* I err peed in the pool.  
  
Yami:*freaks out* FOR THE LOVE OF RA NO! YUGI PISSED IN THE POOL! (note - 3yr old)  
  
All:*scream and scrabble to get out of the water*  
  
(note - Where did I put my ear-plugs? *looks round for ear-plugs* Heh found 'em)  
  
Seto:*yells* ALRIGHT EVERYONE FUCK OFF HOME NOW!!!!  
  
The gang stomp out the gate growling at Yugi for pissing in the water. Seto drains the pool to clean it out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yami: You did it again?  
  
Me: Did what again? Yami:*hurt* Made out I was yaoi and after you promised.  
  
Me:*smirks* I promised it wouldn't happen in the next fan fic I never mentioned this one, by the way my 2nd fic is also on that other website ELAD.  
  
Yami:*snorts* Humph! You also left it on a grumpy note.  
  
Me:*smiles* Ah but no one can stay mad at Yugi for long he's too kawaii, besides that kid could get away with murder if he put his mind to it *orders* Now you've been a bad boy go to my room.  
  
Anzu:*screaming then silent*  
  
Me:*yells* OK WHO KILLED ANZU AGAIN?  
  
Yugi:*hides knife behind his back and does puppy dog eyes looking innocent* It wasn't me Bakura did it.  
  
Me:*looks at him* Alright I believe you *yells* BAKURA HOW DARE YOU KILL ANZU.  
  
Bakura:*whines* I didn't do it *mutters* For once.  
  
Me:*orders* Bakura you've been a bad boy go to my room as well and take Malik with you.  
  
Malik:*jumps* Alright!  
  
Me:*waves goodbye* Laters I've got important things to do now! *runs to my room* 


	6. Yami's birthday

Chapter Six - Yami's birthday  
  
Disclaimer - I *yawn* don't own Yu-gi-oh  
  
Malik:*pokes me* Hey don't go to sleep now.  
  
Me:*sleepy* Naze?  
  
Yami:*scolds* Don't do that leave Ruth alone!  
  
Malik:*evil grin* Give me one good reason Pharaoh.  
  
Yami:*nervous* You really don't want to wake her up.  
  
Malik:*laughs and keeps poking me*  
  
Me:*jumps awake and shouts* STOP FUCKING ME POKING ME!  
  
Malik:*yells* AAGGHH!  
  
Yami:*blows raspberry* Told ya so.  
  
Me:*annoyed* What do you guys want anyway?  
  
Malik: Can I kill Anzu again in this chapter?  
  
Me: Maybe in one of your dumb blonde moments.  
  
Malik:*yells* NANI? *pulls out millennium rod* I'LL KILL YOU!  
  
Me:*scared* Now Malik you don't want to use that *runs through house yelling* OH SHIT! *cornered* FUCK!  
  
Malik:*evil laugh* Heh gotcha now bitch never call me a dumb blonde.  
  
Me:*smiles* Alright I'm at your mercy *up against wall wraps arms around his neck and kisses him* Well that stopped you in your tracks *whispers* Don't tell Yami cos he's my fave.  
  
Yami: What's going on?  
  
Me:*runs to Yami and glomps him* Malik scared me.  
  
Yami:*hugs me* Its ok now.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
One day Yugi asks his yami a serious question (note - Ooooohhh a serious question)  
  
Yugi: When's your birthday Yami?  
  
Yami:*thinks then runs to a calendar, comes back* In two days time.  
  
Yugi:*anime fall* Agh what am I gonna do?  
  
Yami:*puzzled* We've been together for a whole year and you've never thought to ask that til now?  
  
Yugi:*snorts* I had other things on my mind like trying to STAY ALIVE!  
  
Yami:*shrugs* Good point.  
  
Yugi: Come on lets go find Grandpa and see what he thinks.  
  
The pair find Yugi's Grandpa cleaning the game shop.  
  
Yugi:*smiles* Grandpa its my yami's birthday in two days time. What should we do?  
  
Grandpa: Lets organise a party.  
  
(note - yet another party I wanna live with them)  
  
Yami:*half-smile* Do I get a birthday cake?  
  
Grandpa:*nods* Hai! We'll also have a few party games and rent a couple of movies which, I'll rent instead of the others.  
  
(note - looks like Grandpa don't want them watching scary films)  
  
Yugi:*excited* Oh we could play pin the tail on the donkey.  
  
Yami:*smacks head* I live with a 5yr old. Yugi I'm gonna be 5001yrs old, I don't want to play pin the tail on the donkey.  
  
Grandpa:*laughs* At least you're older than me.  
  
Yugi and Yami:*sweatdrop*  
  
Grandpa: Hadn't you be on the phone calling your friends *yells* DON'T BE LONG!  
  
Yugi: Hai.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Two days later the living room is decorated with streamers, balloons and banners saying "Happy birthday Yami".  
  
Door bell rings:*DING DONG*  
  
Yami:*opens door*  
  
All:*shout* HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAMI!  
  
Yami:*wipes away a tear* Aw you guys.  
  
Bakura:*mutters* Fucking Ryou dragging me to this to fucking hell hole *slightly louder* Fucking Ryou!  
  
Yugi:*sweatdrop* Ryou aren't you gonna say something?  
  
Ryou:*sadly* Nothing I say ever makes him shut up. I'm used to it.  
  
Yugi: Come on in gang.  
  
Everyone walks in.  
  
Mai: Well lets get this party started *brings out bottle of Pepsi Max and several glasses* Lets play "I never" again.  
  
All:*groan but go along with it since they can't think of anything else. All get a glass of Pepsi Max*  
  
Yami:*grins* I'll start. I never mooned a truck driver before.  
  
Seto:*glares* You're the one who fucking me dared me *takes a drink*  
  
Bakura:*evil grin* I never had my swimming trunks pulled off.  
  
Ryou:*mutters darkly and takes a drink*  
  
Malik: I pissed in a swimming pool.  
  
Yugi:*mumbles* Why bring that up? *turns red and drinks*  
  
Seto: I never took a dump in a public place.  
  
Joey:*takes a drink* I was only 3 I really had to go and there were no loo's nearby.  
  
All: Eeewww!  
  
Miho:*bored* This is dull lets play spin the bottle.  
  
Mai:*glares* No one argue or else *spins empty Pepsi bottle it points to Honda*  
  
Honda:*spins bottle it points to Serenity* Alright! *kisses Serenity lightly on the lips, she blushes and Joey fumes*  
  
Serenity:*still blushing* Ok my turn *points to Miho*  
  
Miho:*smiles* I hope I get to kiss Ryou *it points to Marik*  
  
Marik:*grabs Miho in to a bear hug and practically slobbers over her face*  
  
Miho:*screams* Ew Marik that's gross *wipes her face*  
  
Anzu:*laughs*  
  
Miho:*spins bottle it points to Malik she grins*  
  
Malik:*points to Bakura*  
  
(note - bet you knew that would happen ne?)  
  
Malik:*evil chuckle* Lets give them a show! *he locks lips with Bakura for full on snogging action*  
  
Anzu:*hides face* Yuck! They're using tongues!  
  
All:*grossed out* PLEASE STOP!  
  
Bakura:*breaks off and whispers* Save the rest for later.  
  
Yugi: Err Grandpa and Miho brought some movies.  
  
Everyone sits down on the coach except Malik who ran off to the bathroom. (note - I wonder why? Nope don't think I wanna know) Yugi puts in "The Wizard of Oz" Heh. When the munchkins showed up Malik was still upstairs.  
  
Bakura and Marik:*scream* AAAGGGHHH! MUNCHKINS! FOR THE LOVE OF RA NO!!!!  
  
Malik:*comes downstairs sees the T.V and dives behind the sofa and shakes like a leaf* Turn it off, turn it off, for Ra's sake turn it off!  
  
Yami:*rolls eyes* You three are really strange. You know that? *pulls out tape*  
  
Miho:*jumps up and slams in a tape* I got this movie from a friend of mine, she said she couldn't watch anymore preferred her violent Manga's.  
  
The tape starts to play the care bear's movie (note - here's a hint to my age I remember the care bears first time round *shudders*)  
  
Malik, Bakura Seto and Marik:*hide their faces behind cushions* AGH STOP TORTURING US!!!  
  
The care bears begin to sing songs about love and caring while sliding on rainbows. All four boys freak out and run from the room screaming. Malik hides under a table, Seto runs up to Yugi's room, Bakura tries to get in to the cooker and Marik tries to stab his eyes out but was yelling too much.  
  
Anzu:*sweatdrop* Why can't they watch anything happy for once?  
  
Mokuba and Yugi:*whine* We were enjoying it!  
  
Isis:*sighs* I'll go find my brother *finds Malik cowering under a table rocking back and forth* Malik come on out its ok now brother *holds out hand*  
  
Everyone else is trying to coax Seto and Bakura from their hiding places, while Anzu grabs the knife from Marik. Yami is rolling around on the floor laughing holding his sides cos they hurt.  
  
Malik:*runs to Anzu grabs her round her neck and grabs the knife* Heh ha ha ha *crazy evil laugh* I'll teach this care bear to sing happy songs *slits open Anzu's throat then drops her* Now for the rest of you care bears *evil grin*  
  
Isis:*yells* OH MY GOD MALIK HAS LOST HIS GRIP ON REALITY HE'S MAD!!!  
  
(note - well that's nothing new)  
  
Mokuba:*hides behind Seto who came back downstairs* Help Malik is nuts!  
  
Seto:*mutters* Blame Miho its her fault.  
  
Joey:*picks up a frying pan and whacks Malik on the head* I always wanted to do that.  
  
Serenity:*hugs Joey* Wow you were really brave.  
  
Joey:*moans* Sis not in front of the guys.  
  
Serenity: Gomen.  
  
Yami:*wiping his eyes* Hmm he's out cold.  
  
Isis:*picks up her brother* Yami I'm leaving early to take Malik and his yami home *dragging Malik leaves followed by a jumpy Marik*  
  
Ryou:*comforting his yami who is still sobbing* There, there all the nasty care bears are gone, and Malik killed one of 'em *pats him on back*  
  
Bakura:*sniffs* Ok Ryou though I don't like you I trust you.  
  
Otogi: Man I'm starved can we eat yet?  
  
(note - I thought someone was being quiet lol)  
  
Joey and Honda: Me too.  
  
Yugi:*nods* Food is in the other room there's plenty so.. *stampede rushes past him* don't rush *sighs*  
  
Yami:*runs to food* Agh we better hurry before that pig of a tomb robber scoffs the lot.  
  
(note - Mmm party food everyone the world over knows what party food is so I aint mentioning it, oh they got Oreo's man I love that American cookie. I know I'm rambling but for a short while they showed in England, I guess not many people liked 'em since I aint seen 'em in ages. We English are strange. I WANT AN OREO! Sorry back to the fic)  
  
The group gathers round the party food and eat til their full, then Grandpa shows up carrying an iced sponge cake written on it "Happy birthday Yami". It only had one candle.  
  
Yugi: 5001 candles wouldn't fit on so there's only one gomen.  
  
Yami:*hugs Yugi* That's all right.  
  
Otogi: Blow out the candle and make a wish.  
  
Yami:*blows out candle*  
  
When Yami had blown out the candle they sang happy birthday, except Seto and Bakura sang different words.  
  
Seto and Bakura:*singing if you can call it that* Happy birthday to you, I went to the loo, I saw a fat porcupine and I thought it was you!  
  
Yugi:*excited* Now its time for presents yay!  
  
Here's a list of who got what for Yami.  
  
Ryou - A beige sweater just like his (not Yami's style at all)  
  
Bakura - A king Cobra (he hoped it would jump out of the box and bite Yami, seemed disappointed when it didn't)  
  
Yami:*sarcastic* Nice try tomb robber *throws snake outside*  
  
Bakura:*snarls* Fuck you Pharaoh!  
  
Seto and Mokuba - A laptop computer with built in modem (remember chapter 4?)  
  
Mai - A leather thong (?!)  
  
Otogi - A starter set of Dungeon Dice Monsters. Honda - A porn movie (typical)  
  
Joey and Serenity - A month's supply of hair gel.  
  
Miho - A cuddly care bear (burn it later)  
  
Yugi - A new muscle shirt (yay)  
  
Anzu - A pair of pink slippers (gross I hate pink no offence intended)  
  
Isis - A Scarab beetle encased in amber (pretty)  
  
Malik and Marik - An Emperor Scorpion (Agh! Also got thrown outside)  
  
Even though Anzu's dead and the last three mentioned left early their gifts had been left behind. Afterwards everyone left with a party bag of goodies and a slice of cake, Seto laughed cos Joey got a doggie bag Yugi ran out of bags. When they had all gone..  
  
Yami:*looks fondly at his hikari* Aibou this has been the best birthday ever arigato *glomps Yugi*  
  
Yugi:*smiles*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bakura:*hits me over the head* BAKA! Look what you did to Malik.  
  
Me:*rubs head* OW! *looks at Malik cowering in a corner* Don't worry I can sort him out. Hey Malik all those care bears died in horrific ways and got hung by their intestines.  
  
Malik:*snaps back to reality leaps at me bangs my head on the floor while strangling me* Never ever fucking scare me that much again you fucking butch! Next time I'll kill you!  
  
Bakura:*cheers* Yay you're back to normal *glomps Malik*  
  
Malik:*snarls* Ack get off me you bastard *they walk away arguing*  
  
Me:*coughs*  
  
Yami: How come you re-did your very first ever fanfic when its already posted somewhere else, instead of trying to update "Love is bitter sweet!" or "Yugi's house burnt down"?  
  
Me:*declares* Because I can do whatever I want I have the original hand-written master pieces so there, and O forgot how long it takes just to type up one chapter. Now where did I put my doughnut?  
  
Joey:*sniggers* Heh heh heh. 


	7. Sun, sand, sea and lobster

Blueraydragon@yahoo.co.uk  
  
Rated PG - 14+  
  
Translation - Yosh (okay) Anosa (hey) Sugoi (cool) Kuso (damn) Oishi (delicious)  
  
Malik - hikari Marik - yami  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own Naruto or Yu Gi Oh! But by Ra you should see my Yu Gi Oh! Card collection  
  
Chapter 7 - Sun, sand, sea and lobster  
  
Me: Hi yes It's me crazy, insane, hyper girl. Ok due to popular demand I have done a 7th chapter.  
  
Bakura: A 7th chapter? For fucks sake this fic is finished.  
  
Me: *sticks out tongue* Yeah but you got to cater for fans.  
  
Malik: Okay. So what are Yugi and Yami planning this time?  
  
Me: You lot are heading for the beach.  
  
Malik: *has suddenly gone pale* That means we're going to be near s s s s sea.  
  
Bakura: *scowls* What on earth is wrong with you? Why the beach? Malik is afraid of the sea.  
  
Me: *puzzled* Alright that's weird for two reasons 1 You used to have a boat. 2 You were fine in chapter 5 at Seto's pool.  
  
Marik: *chuckles as he walks in* That was before I tied him up, attached him to a hook and used him as fish bait.  
  
Bakura: *whacks* Marik BAKA!  
  
Me: *sweat drop* Erm yeah. Anyway if you read chapter 5 you know every ones swimming gear so I don't have to repeat myself.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yugi: *walks in to the kitchen where Yami is eating breakfast* Yami you ever been to the beach before?  
  
Yami: *swallows his food* What's a beach?  
  
Yugi: You know? A place where there's lot of sand near the ocean.  
  
Yami: *smirks* You mean Egypt right? Aibou I lived there.  
  
Yugi: *anime fall* Baka I swear that being in the puzzle for 5000 years scrambled your brain some how *sighs* A beach is just a place you go to, it has sand, stones, rock pools and sea.  
  
Yami: *jumps up from his chair* Nani? In Egypt we just have the River Nile that runs straight in to the ocean. Yugi take me to the beach *dramatic point*  
  
Yugi: *grins* I'll go call the others, rent a minibus and Grandpa can drive us there.  
  
Yami: *crestfallen* Oh great I forgot about the others *still pointing as a tumble weed goes by*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So now the gang is in the minibus and Bakura is being annoying with help from Malik.  
  
Bakura: *singing his own version of 100 bottles of beer* 100 dumb pharaohs on the wall, 100 dumb pharaohs push 1 off and slit his throat, there's 99 dumb pharaohs on the wall.  
  
Malik: *while Bakura is singing* Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?  
  
Ryou: *groans* Some one shoot me please!  
  
Marik: *suddenly has a handgun* Yosh.  
  
Tristan: *shocked* Where did you get that gun from?  
  
Marik: *grins* On the front of your "Boys toys" magazine.  
  
Joey: *whines* I need to pee.  
  
Seto: *points out the window* Hey look a fire hydrant.  
  
Joey: *frowns* I'm not a dog.  
  
Grandpa: *big head mode with a throbbing vein* SHUT THE FUCK UP!!  
  
Every one is silent for about five minutes.  
  
Anzu: *pulls out a pack of playing cards* Lets play "Go fish".  
  
Malik: *clings to Bakura and wails*  
  
Duke: *sweat drop* What's his problem?  
  
Miho: *covers her ears* His wailing is worse than mine.  
  
Mai: No ones wailing is worse than yours!  
  
Isis: *smiles weakly* Lets play "Strip poker".  
  
All: Alright!  
  
By the end of the trip every one but Yami was in their underwear.  
  
Yami: *sniggers* I win again. It gets boring beating you all, figured Yugi would've been a challenge.  
  
Yugi: *is trying not laugh at Seto's teddy bear boxers*  
  
They all get in to their swimming gear and pile out of the minibus on to the beach.  
  
Duke: *runs to the sea* BANZAI!! *leaps in*  
  
Seto: *glares at a group of kids laughing at his trunks* If you don't stop I'll fire your parents and make you all homeless *kids run away and he gets hit in the head by a volley ball*  
  
Yami: *chasing volley ball crashes in to Seto* Gomen na sai *blushes due to compromising position*  
  
Seto: *growls* Get off me! *is also blushing*  
  
Yami: *gets off Seto, picks up ball and runs off*  
  
Malik: *is cowering by the minibus* Naze? Naze?  
  
Marik: *puts a sign up next to Malik* Heh heh.  
  
The sign: "Fish bait 30,000 yen".  
  
Bakura: *is standing by the sea pissing in it*  
  
Anzu: *disgusted* BAKURA!  
  
Bakura: *grins* Nani? Every one knows you have to piss in the sea.  
  
Anzu: *sweat drop* What ever *walks off*  
  
Ryou: *has just been buried in the sand* Joey, Tristan I think something is crawling in my trunks!  
  
Joey: *laughs* I'm not digging you out it took long enough burying you.  
  
Tristan: *nods* He has a point.  
  
Duke: *yells from the sea* No you have a pointy head sharky O_O! *dives under the waves as Tristan runs at him*  
  
Miho, Isis and Mai are catching rays and Miho gets badly sun burnt and looks as red as a lobster, while Anzu goes one better and actually turns in to a lobster.  
  
Yugi: *picks up lobster Anzu* Ah sugoi *shows Yami the lobster* Anosa Yami I found food.  
  
Ryou: *dug himself up peers at lobster* It looks familiar for some reason.  
  
Duke: It's a damn lobster cook the fucker!  
  
Isis: *looks around* Where did Anzu go?  
  
Mai: *shrugs* No one knows or cares.  
  
Miho: *is pinched on the nose by lobster Anzu* OW! Kuso that hurts *throws lobster in to a cooking pot*  
  
Bakura: *dances* Yay we're going to have lobster.  
  
The Anzu lobster is cooked and every one starts eating except Malik who was given a bowl of ramen and is still cowering in fear.  
  
Naruto: *suddenly dashes in drooling* Mmmmm oishi ramen *knocks Malik over grabs ramen and runs* Ha ha ha ha MINE!  
  
Malik: *blinks*  
  
Marik: *with mouth full of lobster* Why the hell did Naruto just show up? He's in the wrong fan fiction.  
  
Isis: *giggles* Wherever there is ramen you will find Naruto.  
  
Grandpa: *has been running around naked chasing after girls* Heh come back I won't hurt you.  
  
Yugi and Yami: *sweat drop* PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!!  
  
Seto: *shields his eyes* I'm going to be mentally scarred for life *looks at Yugi* I hope your happy!  
  
Yami: *tackles Grandpa to the sand* Ok old man I think it's time you got dressed and took us home.  
  
Ryou: *grimaces* Ew will you please not tackle Mr. Motou that way ever again it looks like your humping him.  
  
All: O_O  
  
Everyone gets in the minibus and Malik starts up his "are we there yet" routine while Bakura once again sings "100 dumb pharaohs on the wall"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Me: I love the beach.  
  
Yami: That was fun.  
  
Bakura: HA I ate lobster and I didn't have to steal it from a swanky restaurant *looks disappointed* I just noted how stealing it would have been better.  
  
Me: *fwaps Bakura* Stealing is bad.  
  
Bakura: *glares and rubs his head* I'm all bad plus I'm a thief and a tomb robber.  
  
Yami: *folds his arms across his chest* Like anyone cares!  
  
Bakura: Shut the hell up Pharaoh!  
  
Yami: *glares daggers at Bakura* Go to hell tomb robber.  
  
Bakura: *smirks* I have already nice place for a holiday but I wouldn't want to live there, the rent is daylight robbery.  
  
Me: O_O *sweat drop* Ok. *looks at reader* heh well if you people out there want more for this fic read and review and say so *watches Yami and Bakura fighting* Damn it their at it again, Yugi and Ryou go sort out your yami's.  
  
Ryou: *looks blank* I don't know what you're talking about I don't have a yami.  
  
Yugi: *does his innocent look* I only have a grandpa and all my friends, but no yami.  
  
Malik: *runs through the room being chased by his yami* I HATE MY YAMI!! HELP!  
  
Me: *chases after Marik* YOU HURT MALIK AND I SEND YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM!! 


End file.
